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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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