Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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