is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
