I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
