I just saw a hot homeless man
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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