I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
