Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
