Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'm having to shit out rocks
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
