Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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