Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
