he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
