I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
