I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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