it was like his penis was on wheels.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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