in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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