It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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