I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
