There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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