help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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