Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
