i would punch a child for taco bell
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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