My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
