You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize