Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
