i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
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