Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
false alarm. still invincible.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
