just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
