i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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