At least make sure they are 18
Why
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
