So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
