In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize