What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm just crazy horny about you
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
