Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
