it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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