Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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