all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
