I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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