There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
