We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
