so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
