I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
