the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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