we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
