im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize