I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
