Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I need a beard to bite.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
