his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
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