I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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