Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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