Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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