p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize