so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
