in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
