During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize