she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
