I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
