she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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