cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
