Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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