There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
