Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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