who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
